The First of the Lasts

Saturday marked the first of all the Lasts I would be having here in Piliscsaba, Hungary.

I have been here for so long, that the idea of not seeing the rolling hills or walking 35 minutes to Aldi or shouting at the bees, “No! No! Out!” *frantically waves arms* “Stop getting closer! Stop coming in!” is a strange one.

I’m going to miss all that and more. So much.

(Okay, maybe I won’t really miss that last part…but I just took about ten minutes writing these first few words because a freaking bee kept coming in my open window without any permission and wouldn’t leave on her own accord! How rude!)

Saturday marked the last time I would ever be sick in Piliscsaba, Hungary. (*knocks on wood*) I had to rely on Vera, my mentor’s wife, to bring me medicine and some food since I couldn’t get out of bed without shaking and feeling dizzy, let alone cook anything. Also, I had run out of snacks to munch on, so she brought me bread, yogurt, and crackers. It was much appreciated. I’m going to miss her so much.

Sunday, marked my last day at my church, Béthel Evangélikus Missziói Otthon. Thankfully, I was feeling much better from Saturday (I think it was some sort of 24-hour, G.I. bug) and I was able to participate in my last worship, spreading of the peace, and communion at the church I’ve attended since September. It was quite, not much fanfare, and I appreciated it.

Today, Monday, I went to the daycare in Siló/Fébé for the last time. My friend Laura and I worked together, watching over the kids, playing with them, and feeding them for the last time. I got out the bowls, spoons, and plastic baby bins for the last time. Then, I went to Pipacs, my favorite coffee shop, not for the last time (not yet), before heading over to Zsolt to listen as he read from a book, this one was called The Sacrifice, as I corrected his pronunciation and explained the weird, English grammar for the last time.  

It made me wonder what the next YAGM’s life will look like here. Will they help Zsolt practice? Will they sit on his couch, leaned back and relaxed? Will they stare at his fish tank and trinkets and books? Will they be just as confused as I am when I have to answer questions such as “What does ‘She has a rather lovely face’ mean?” and “What’s the difference between ‘still’ and ‘yet’?” and “What’s the past participle of this verb?”

Tomorrow, I will start to pack. I will take all the I brought and bought and was given and either fit it in my suitcase or leave it behind for the next person. Things such as my winter coat and scarf will be left behind. (I think I would legit die in the Florida heat with it.) The birthday gift my host family gave me will be taken back home with me. The laundry detergent will stay. So will the closet that I bought and put together myself.

But the memories.

The memories I will take with me. The experiences I’ve had will be added to the collection of all the other experiences that have been conglomerated into me. Into Ana.

I’m going to be a little different when I’m back in what I call my home state. Not physically, though also, yes, maybe physically, but the other -allys too. Mentally, behaviorally, emotionally, spiritually. Maybe it won’t be a big change. Maybe it will. I won’t know, and neither will you, until we’re face to face again.

Before that, though, I still have other Lasts to get through.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to face them yet.

Not that I have much of a choice in the matter, really, but still.

Here’s to the First of all the Lasts I will have this week! Let’s find out which one makes me break down sobbing!



One thought on “The First of the Lasts

  1. Well written and I cried. I will think of you as I always do, every day. I am happy you are coming home! I think I am a bit changed too but, no change in my love for you for sure!


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